Holiday Havoc

Holiday Havoc

by Ryan H.

It’s the holiday season, and with that comes an overwhelming amount of stress and responsibilities. With this holiday guide written by someone with no social life whatsoever, you’re sure to have the slightest idea of how to speak to other people.

Which brings us to our first roadblock, socializing with your family. If you had been visiting your family for more than only once a year, you may already be more than ready to meet them at Christmas. If otherwise, then it is necessary to follow these steps:

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  • Do not run and hide! At the very least, say hello and talk to your relatives for a bit. THEN you can run and hide.
  • If you don’t feel like running away and want to try to join in on conversations, do not wait for someone to notice you and ask a question specifically directed towards you. People are not going to ask some weird dude standing awkwardly in the corner.
  • You do not need to be the most charismatic person in the room. Just talk to people you’re comfortable with, like the dog.
  • If you do want to be the most charismatic person in the room, then it’s best to go to another article because I am as charismatic as a meat grinder.


Next, we have to worry about the gifts. This is your chance to show your family your appreciation for their support of you over the years! All you need to do is:
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  • Ask yourself: What do I know my family likes?
  • Would they enjoy it if I got them ____?
  • Why would they want to buy this item?


Also, there’s cooking! Cooking is one of the universally accepted methods of demonstrating your appreciation/affection for someone. You could cook:

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  • Cinnamon Buns
  • Gingerbread Cookies/House
  • Ham
  • French Log Cake (Buche de Noel)


Your families will enjoy your culinary improvisations, as long you don’t set the house on fire. Also, keep the buche away from the dog.

That’s all for today, but I sincerely hope that you are able to have yourselves an enjoyable Christmas holiday!

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